Sunday, March 06, 2005

Worth It

It occurred to me this morning as I was rushing around trying to decide what to make for the perfect Sunday morning breakfast for my son (and by “perfect” I mean “cereal”,) scheduling in my head which exam I would study for next and when I would have time to iron my clothes for work tomorrow, straightening up the kitchen and cleaning the bathroom, helping Jack with the last of his homework and trying to beat him while racing ATV’s on the Gamecube, taking out the kitty litter and vacuuming the living room…etc…that this is a crazy life we all live. We rush around from thing to thing, constantly trying to clear our schedules so that we can go on to the next scheduled event. Why do we do it? What drives us to be willing to work full time and try to finish our college education and manage a household all at the same time? When our mothers were raising us is this what they had in mind as they struggled to ensure that their daughters would be empowered in the future? Is it possible for us to really “have it all”?

I read an article in Newsweek this morning (as I sat out on the porch enjoying what would probably be the only ten minutes of peace I would see all day!) that made two statements that really struck me. The first was a woman saying, “I had three children so I would never have to play board games again.” Okay, now that actually made me laugh. How true is that statement? Maybe that’s what I should’ve done differently…had more kids. The second statement was, “I don’t take my kids to piano and soccer and playgroups and all the rest. I’d rather be reading than pretending my child is some kind of prodigy.” Again, a very valid point.

I’ve always tried really hard to find a balance in my life all for my different roles. I am who I am at work…smart, professional, quick, upbeat, and available. I am who I am at school…smart, participatory, prepared, open, and available. I am who I am as a mother…smart, caring, fun, strict, and available. As I look at “who I am” the only things that are constant are that I am smart and I am available.

My point is that everything that needs to get done is not going to get done. I am not always going to be on time to work and I am not going to ace every test at school and I am not always going to be patient with Jack. I guess if I was only doing one of these things…or maybe even just two of these things…I would have a better chance of being uber-successful at each of them. But that’s not in the cards for me at this time, which only means that I can do my best and give what I have to each role.

It helps that I have a tremendous support system. I have a family who loves me and believes in me and truly thinks that I can do it all. (At least I have them convinced, huh!) But even more important than that are the friends that I have. People that love and accept me and don’t care if I’m Supermom or Employee of the Quarter or in the honors society. All they care about is the fact that I am who I am and they like that person. My friends are really the ones that get me through it when I’m feeling guilty or doubtful at my life-style choices. They are the ones responsible for me being able to do this…even more so than I am, I sometimes think, because they are the ones that pull me through when I'm ready to quit.

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