Meaning vs. Empty
It occurs to me that I have been searching for meaning in places where no meaning exists. Actually, that's not quite true. I'm thinking there's not a lot of meaning anywhere or in anything. Most activities leave me feeling empty and I'm beginning to think that's the normal way of life. We try and try and try to fill our lives up with things that make us feel something...anything...when in reality, there is nothing to feel.
So fuck it. I think I'm done searching for meaning. I'm ready to just embrace the emptiness and continue with it and let it wash over me in the hopes that I won't completely lose whoever the hell it is that I'm supposed to be. Which is really an irrelevant point since I'm choosing to go with the whole "life is pointless" thing.
2 comments:
We need to have a long sit down conversation. Because I've been where you're at, and it can be turned into a positive... but it never starts that way.
For now though, I'd like to point out that most people say water doesn't taste like anything. They say that, because it's their baseline for taste. You say that people normally don't feel anything. That's not true. It's just that the "normal" way of feeling is the baseline, so it gets written off. People think that unless their heart is swelling with love, or breaking, or full of hate, that they simply aren't feeling anything. Very not true.
In any case, I could write an essay on this post. But I think I'd rather just talk.
-R
I guess feeling nothing would be a relief at this point...because all these bad feelings really, really suck.
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