Sunday, August 22, 2004

You are My Safe Place...But I Do Not Love You

You are my safe place. You are my comfort zone. You see me and love me for what I am. But I do not love you. You know that, because I have told you. You know that this situation is not fair, yet you keep coming back for more. I wish I could tell you no, but you will not allow that. You know that I need the solace that you provide and you allow me to use you. I have been honest with you about my feelings, but I do not know that you have ever really heard me. I want you to be happy, but I also want you to be mine, but only on my terms. Like I said, this is not fair. You love me so so much. And all I can feel for you is comfortable. I wish there was a way that we could both love at the same level, but I don’t think that’s in the cards for us. Because as similar as we are, we are still so very different. I could maybe start to love you, but you would just hold me back. And I think you know that, which is why you don’t push me. I have loved before when I have not been loved back. It is painful and I know this. But you continue to come to me. It’s as though you are willing to settle for what you get from me because you know that you will never really and truly have me.

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