Sunday, August 22, 2004

You Exist...In My Mind

You exist only in my mind. You are kind and funny…and you love me. You look at me and see me for what I am and you accept that and hold it and treasure it. You know that I am perfect and witty and you appreciate even my clumsiness. You like the way I dress and the way I wear my hair. You like it when I wear make-up, but you see me when I do not. You need me the same way you need to breathe air. When you are apart from me you suffer for it. You bring me things even though you know I do not want them. You take my heart and treat it as though it were the most precious thing in the universe. You care about my thoughts and you appreciate my musings. You do not love me in that crazy way, but you want nothing more than to be with me. You let me have my own blanket because you know how much I hate to have my not so cleanly shaven legs touching others. You see my scars and you love them. Everything about me fascinates you and you cannot live without me. You care enough to take me gently but you love enough to really give it to me. “We have to succumb to the feelings we can never face.” You succumbed to me the moment you met me. And when I did not reciprocate, you did not give up. You love me with a pure love…a love that will never die. It is not frightening in this place in my mind…but that is only because I have created it to be such a place. I cannot really give it all to you, but then you knew that. And that is why you went away. And it’s funny that you have healed from this, yet here I sit, alone.

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