Sunday, September 05, 2004

It Must Be What It Is

The night continues tonight just like every night. I am here alone, yet again. I am alone with my thoughts, alone with my short comings. I exist here, but I am not really here. I do not understand everything that has taken place. I know that what we shared was special, but not special enough to continue. I am afraid that this is it for me, but I know that even if it is, I will be fine. For how can I continue on with this life of mine knowing that I am missing out on that wonderful mystery? But how can I continue not caring about that mystery? I can because that is what I do. I do not lose any sleep over the fact that for now, this is who I am. I am not afraid of being who I am, but I am afraid of letting the other one in. It frightens me, but will all work out in the end. Why will it work out? Because it must. There is no other way for this life to carry on. It must be what it is.

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