Friday, December 10, 2004


When I think of how I must’ve hurt you, I am amazed at my ability to be such a fucking bitch. I have become that which I hate. The feelings that I have for you can only be denied to me because of so many factors. And instead of dealing with such things in a mature, stable manner, I choose instead to let the crazy out. I think I am doing the both of us a favor, when in reality I am doing nothing more than endangering that which I hold most sacred. It is unfair to the both of us to continue this relationship in the manner with which we hold it. It is unfair to you because you feel it so much more deeply than I do. It is unfair to me because I do not think I could ever really love you. You lavish yourself upon me and you look at me with those eyes and you see in me something that I can never see in myself. It makes me very sad.

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