Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Medical Procedures are Horrifying

I just had one of the most horrifying medical experiences ever.

My doctor scheduled me for an abdominal ultrasound today in order to get a closer look at everything going on in there. On the ultrasound order given to the tech it said "transvaginal sonogram." Unfortunately for me, I had no idea what that was and I figured if it was a big deal the doctor would explain it to me, right? WRONG. Imagine my surprise when the tech holds up this instrument of horror - this extremely phallic device - this violating agent of doom - this "transducer," and starts to lube it up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?? No warning. None. Just me, some 20-ish sonogram-tech, and her evil "transducer."

I need a drink.

(Or as my friend, [who shall remain nameless until I can verify that she or he is comfortable with me sharing this] said, "They could've put the big dildo sonogram thing up your ass...." So yes, I guess it could've been worse.)


Anonymous said...

I would have freaked out and said uhm. no way. At least until I can prepare myself for this process... hm, maybe not, I might have been better being suprised, otherwise I think I would just worry myself sick, ha. Ugh, sooo sorry that happened to you. :(

fictionfiend said...

Holy crap! o_O
Did she at least buy you dinner afterwards?

Anonymous said...

Those things SUCK!!!I have had to have one before...I knew ahead of time though, I almost wish I hadn't. Hope they figure out what is going on with you and you get better soon!


UnrulyDuckling said...

After all that, did they at least figure out what's wrong?

addie&daniel said...

yeah, had to have those with my pregnancies.... so bad....

did they find anything?

Anonymous said...

The one that goes up your caboose is called a Transrectal Transducer. A TRT. I know this, because the best job I ever had, was being locked in a cage, decontaminating the fuckers, 8 hours a day.

I am not making this up.

The right coworkers make all the difference, don't they?

Anyways, Sure am glad Serenitysprings is still alive and Married??? To the Lunchstealer???

Wu De Ma.

Keep Flyin' kid,