Thursday, October 18, 2007

I might have to quit my job

Yesterday I learned that there might be a policy at work that says any time there's an incidence of domestic violence in a home, the clients are to call the organization, not the police. According to what the woman said, this is so we can keep our clients out of jail and the legal system. Once a refugee gets arrested it can be very difficult for that person to get hired. They want to handle it internally by giving the couple counseling and anger management techniques.

This conversation came about because one of my students is in jail right now for beating up his wife twice last weekend. The beatings occurred Friday night and thankfully she was able to find a phone (they don't have one in their residence yet.) The abuse had been going on for some time because another guy in my class told me that he and the other men of that community had pulled the perpetrator aside to tell him he can't treat his wife like that. Apparently he didn't listen.

It is shocking and saddening that in today's day and age there are still people out there who want to try to cover up domestic abuse. That sends a message to not only the wife, but also the children. The boys learn that it's okay to beat your wife and the girls learn that they have to take it because nobody's going to help them anyway.

I'm going to talk to somebody about it tomorrow but I know that if it's true I won't be able to work there any longer. God, I hope it's not true. I hope it's just one person's opinion - one very ignorant person.


-S- said...

If the woman is in a situation of immediate danger, then calling 911 is undoubtedly the best thing to do. However, if the issue is a longterm cycle of abuse then isn't the primary goal to end that cycle?

Which is more likely to stop the abuse? Counseling or putting the guy in jail? I honestly don't know.

On NYPD Blue anyway, the man usually gets out of jail, goes home and kills his wife.

Perhaps permanently separating the couple is the best option. But then won't the guy just go on to abuse someone else?

Instead of counseling, the organization should supply the battered wife with a gun to shoot her husband. A violent end to a violent cycle.

From watching Law and Order, we know that she won't get convicted anyway.

Anonymous said...

I took a class (briefly) on Violence in the Family at UTD- if you need an elective I would highly recommend it, Dr. Feuerbacher (fire-bocker) is amazing. She works with the perpetrators of abuse and it's truly amazing the way the men think. I have her now for Marriage and Family Counseling and it's extremely interesting also...


addie&daniel said...

how sad...

-S- said...

it's truly amazing the way the men think.

Men think? Huh?

Anonymous said...

whoops! i didn't mean men, i meant the perpetrators (their thinking patterns are just really interesting), sorry about that

-S- said...

E: I think your sarcasm detector needs recalibration.